Back in the Hospital

So after being home for just a few days, I am back in the hospital. I’ll post something longer once I get home, because it’s kind of hard to write an entire blog post using just my phone.

My bowel is obstructed and I have a blood clot in my spleen. I am still being treated with IV antibiotics for my pneumonia, so it’s basically a trifecta of hell.

I am feeling better each day, but it’s been pretty grueling, physically and mentally. It gets pretty lonely – counting the minutes until each medication infusion is done, or agonizing over each second until medication brings relief for my various discomforts.

I watch the sun rise and set out this window, stuck in this box of four walls that seem to close in inch by inch, moment by moment.

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I apologize for the utterly depressive nature of this post, but right now, my mind just feels so dark.

These feelings are some of the most intolerable aspects of my disease – the isolation, the feeling of imprisonment, the sense that I am left behind.

I know that my feelings will likely elevate with tomorrow’s sunrise, but right now, I can’t see the light.

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2 thoughts on “Back in the Hospital

  1. I am so sorry you are back in hell…errr I meant the hospital. And as for the horrendous feelings CF brings…I totally get it. Just know you are not alone. Hugs!

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