An Angel in the Hospital

I posted this on my Facebook page while I was in the hospital. This story touched so many people that I felt I had to share it here. This is not to challenge anyone’s faith or religious beliefs; it’s an account of the light that a stranger brought to me in a very dark moment. I have not changed the wording or anything, to preserve how I felt when I wrote it.

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I am absolutely convinced that this was divine intervention, perhaps she was an angel, or my guardian angel sent her to help. Dozens of people passed me in that hallway, looked at me, and made eye contact, yet she was the only one to stop. I wish I had been able to see her name tag – she had long hair that mostly obscured it. I want to somehow thank her, yet cannot remember enough to even know where to start. I would love to write a letter to her supervisor, to let somebody know what a treasure they have working there.

The transport team works one-on-one with the patients, often seeing patients at their most vulnerable, escorting sick people from one place to another. I guess that I can just share this story right now, and believe that somehow, someone found me in the middle of a busy hallway and stopped to help my wounded spirit. Bless you, Angel, for your kindness. Your generosity will never, ever be forgotten.

Home (Again!)

I wanted to first say that I am home from the hospital. I was discharged late Saturday, and saw my doctors again on Monday. I will post a longer update in the next few days. I just want to let you know that I am safe, still recovering, and working really hard to get back to a more stable place.


Back in the Hospital

So after being home for just a few days, I am back in the hospital. I’ll post something longer once I get home, because it’s kind of hard to write an entire blog post using just my phone.

My bowel is obstructed and I have a blood clot in my spleen. I am still being treated with IV antibiotics for my ammonia, so it’s basically a trifecta of hell.

I am feeling better each day, but it’s been pretty grueling, physically and mentally. It gets pretty lonely – counting the minutes until each medication infusion is done, or agonizing over each second until medication brings relief for my various discomforts.

I watch the sun rise and set out this window, stuck in this box of four walls that seem to close in inch by inch, moment by moment.


I apologize for the utterly depressive nature of this post, but right now, my mind just feels so dark.

These feelings are some of the most intolerable aspects of my disease – the isolation, the feeling of imprisonment, the sense that I am left behind.

I know that my feelings will likely elevate with tomorrow’s sunrise, but right now, I can’t see the light.

Great Strides, Darts Tournament, and Health Update

I know that I still have six more years to cover for my “CF Journey,” but life got really crazy this month and I wanted to catch you all up with what’s happening.

Fundraising Update

First, the wonderful news. May was Cystic Fibrosis Awareness Month and we returned to do the annual Great Strides walk on Sunday, May 18. We renamed our team “Toni’s Titans” and generated a souped-up fundraising campaign.

We also planned a dart tournament at a local pub to benefit the CF Foundation, the proceeds which we’d present the next day at the Great Strides walk. We had 22 dart players and over 40 people attend. For an event that Ken put together in less than 3 weeks, it was wildly successful. Local businesses and residents donated prizes that earned additional funds and attracted people to the event. Everyone loves a prize!

Toni's Titans Team Photo 2014.

Toni’s Titans Team Photo 2014.

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My Cystic Fibrosis Journey: 2007


Me, Myself, and I Whether negative or positive, change can be tough, and 2007 was full of changes. My Doctors After the move back to my home state, it took a while to find new doctors, especially because I had so many body … Continue reading

My Cystic Fibrosis Journey: 2005 – 2006

Life with Cystic Fibrosis is both predictable and unpredictable. I’ve mentioned several times that my “pattern” was a period of medical crises followed by a period of relative quiet. That “quiet” period isn’t a calm walk in the park, but rather a journey of chronic issues that I manage daily.

Looking From the Outside In

Invisible Illness

The term “Invisible Illness” describes my CF perfectly. What is an Invisible illness? Also known as a “chronic illness or invisible disability,” an invisible Illness is one that isn’t apparent to someone just by looking at you. So many times, people may have looked at me and thought I was in a bad mood or being bitchy, or they might notice the bags under my eyes from a sinus infection or hear me cough, but for the most part, people may not have seen evidence of my condition like they’d see, such as crutches on a person with a broken leg. Continue reading